Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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