her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
