I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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