Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
