do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
