That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
