How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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