I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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