nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
