maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
