ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
