I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
