Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
