her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
