You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
