I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
