i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
