I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think my moral compass just broke
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
