Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
