Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
