My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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