I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
