High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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