it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
only you would photoshop your dick
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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