my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
