i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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