Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize