Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
