Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
