I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
