i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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