Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
