DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
