Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
