it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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