He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
