fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
