I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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