I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
