is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
