just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize