if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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