I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize