Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
