I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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