So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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