Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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