Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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