how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
