I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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