3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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