I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
