dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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