Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
