Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All the doctor said was why
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
