so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
