who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
