Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
