He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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