You can't motorboat a personality
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Boobs speak an international language.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
