She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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