I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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