i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I supernannyed him into submission
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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